Where is the Love?

I love that old Roberta Flack and Donnie Hathaway song, don’t you? “Where is the love, you said you’d give to me through eternity, will it ever be? Where is the love??” etc. I find myself humming that sometimes when I look at the state of the world. I wonder how I can encourage people to remember the love when they are the “heat” of any situation. Couples come to see me for private coaching, and they sit opposite each other looking tight and angry, as if waiting for the other to make one wrong move–they are ready to pounce! Where is the love in that moment? ūüôā

I’d like to suggest five little¬†strategies¬†to help you remember the love throughout your day. ¬†You can apply these to your relationship with others AND yourself. In fact, the more you can love yourself, you may find your other relationships deepening, too.

  1. Stay connected. ¬†In the heat of any moment, remember that you are not alone.¬†You are connected. You are held in the loving arms of the Universe, defined by love and your connectedness to it. Thich Nhat Han said “we are here to awaken from the illusion of our separateness.” Breathe and let your breath connect to your Divine source.
  2. Practice honesty and openness. Everything can be discussed openly when love is put center stage. Your openness can become a loving action. Your honesty can be the salve on a burn. Dare to tell the truth with love. 
  3. Dare to expand in the face of difficulty. Rather than shrink in fear, relax, breathe and activate your curiosity. You are NOT getting in trouble–this difficulty is an opportunity to understand a perspective which is different from your own. Expand to meet it.
  4. Trust in the Higher Good. Everything occurs for the highest good when you meet it with love and trust. Even the most heinous and tragic events can be held with tender, loving arms. If we can hold each other in those difficult moments with loving tenderness, we can heal the broken heart of the world.
  5. Consider the pure abundance of your loving relationships. Your partner can be a source of complete abundance to you. Each moment you spend with your partner can be full of richness and connection when you approach the relationship with a loving intention.

Where is the Love in your life? Are you creating it, or expecting it? If you can’t find it, maybe it needs to come from inside you. Start by loving yourself and growing your own capacity to hold greater and greater loving energy. “Love is the answer, and you know that for sure!” –John Lennon

Your questions are always welcome! Please feel free to email me at [email protected]. I will be happy to answer any of your questions.

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Dr. Laurel Ross

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